Know Your “Whys”
Knowing your “Whys” will give you the leverage you need to make your decisions a reality
Regardless of whether you are trying to lose 10 pounds, 100 pounds, become a fitness model, build wealth, or achieve any other worthy goal you need to start by making a defining decision to achieve your goal. Make your decision, write it down, and then list all of the reasons why that goal is important to you. This simple exercise alone will significantly improve your odds of success in any endeavor.
The difference between Those Who Achieve their Goals and those that Do Not
The single most important thing that makes one person successful and another fail is the difference in their mindset. When I meet with a client for the first time, I help them determine not only what they want but why they want to achieve their goals. There are many stages that we go through when we want to achieve a new goal. We can be contemplating making some changes, getting ready to make the changes, or committed. If you are committed then you are absolutely motivated, willing and determined to do whatever it takes to implement the actions required in order to achieve the outcome or result that you want. If you have a big enough why or enough desire, given the right tools and information, you will achieve the outcome you desire.
Many of you may have struggled with your weight for years or even decades. People who have had this struggle often feel guilty, embarrassed and ashamed of their weight and appearance. I’ve met with countless individuals who no longer even believed that they were capable of losing weight much less keeping it off. I know when I was struggling with my weight I felt all of those things. I completely understand what it feels like to be locked inside a prison that you don’t feel you can escape from because it happens to be your body. I remember the years of looking in my mirror and being shocked and unhappy at the matronly woman who was staring back at me. I was unhappy, uncomfortable and self-conscious all of the time!
Guess what? This is very important—Focusing on losing weight and being unhappy and uncomfortable won’t help you achieve your goals! Therefore, the very first thing I want you to do is to begin practicing self-acceptance. Don’t put any more energy into feeling guilty or unhappy about where you are right now, today. Instead, give yourself some gratitude for taking the simple but powerful first step to evaluate where you are and where you want to be. KNOW that you have taken the first step to achieve your goals of losing body fat and of having a healthier body. Remember, you didn’t get where you are right now in just a day, so it will take some time to change the habits that got you there. Within a couple of weeks you should start seeing results and feeling better. You won’t have to get “all the way” to your goal to begin enjoying the rewards of more energy and looking and feeling leaner.
Step #1. Decide What You Want
Here is a Secret of all Masters in achieving success in any areas of their lives. Decide what you want. Make a decision and keep choosing the same thing over and over until your will is made manifest in your reality. Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God, Book 2
Regardless of the goal, whether it is in the area of your health, wealth or any other area of your life, one of the most important success strategies is to decide exactly what you want. Decide what you want and be very clear about what that will look and feel like when you achieve it. Simply saying, “I want to lose some weight” is too vague. Be specific. You can use the following examples to write a better goal for yourself:
- I want to eat and exercise optimally so that I lose “X” amount of excess body fat and increase &/or tone my muscle mass.
- I want to have a fit and healthy size “X” body and look and feel my best everyday.
- I want to increase my muscle mass by “X” percent, reduce my fat body mass by “X” percent, so I will look more toned and have more energy.
Think about and visualize what your life will be like when you have achieved your goal. How will you feel and what activities will you participate in that you are not participating in now? Will you dress differently? Feel different about yourself?
Step #2. Visualize yourself AS IF …
Your mind is a powerful tool for helping you get what you want in life. That’s because much of what goes on in your mind is nothing more than a story that you made up. Now that can be a very bad thing or it can be a very ‘cool’ thing. Think of it like being on a movie set except that you (through your mind) get to play all of the parts. You get to be the story teller, you write the script; you get to be the Producer; you get to be the Director; you get to be the Star! Now, this is really important….YOU get to decide whether your movie has a HAPPY ENDING or a sad one. It’s all in the story you make up.
Here’s how this all relates to this program. First you will make a DECISION to take control of your own health and fitness…something many of you may have neglected for too long. Next I you will make a TOTAL COMMITMENT to create a laser focus on getting the result. Then you will create a lot of CLARITY around just what health and fitness means for you. You will need to learn how to eat healthy and exercise consistently and set your target goals.
Focus on what you want to achieve and what your life will be like when you reach your goals. If you focus on being a fit and healthy person, you will start to act like a fit and healthy person, making healthier food choices and being more active. If you focus on “being fat”, “being unhappy”, and “wanting to lose weight” your mind and your attitude are still in “fat mode” and you will tend to act accordingly. I think we’d all rather focus on being fit, healthy, active and attractive and bring our actions in line with that visualization—your results will naturally follow!
Here is a true story:
One of my clients set a target goal of dropping 20lbs of body fat and reducing his waistline by 3 inches over a 40-day period. Pretty lofty goals, but he decided he wanted to ‘test’ himself and see just what was possible if he did everything right for 40 days. He wanted to discover what kind of transformation he could achieve for himself. This client got very clear on what he wanted to achieve, made a huge commitment to do everything correctly for 40 days to see what would happen. I am proud to report that he achieved his goals! A big part of his success was that he used visualization. Here’s what he shared with me: “As a big part of creating clarity, I VISUALIZE myself not as I am, but AS-IF I am already that person who has released 20 lbs of body fat….meaning my ‘mind’s-picture’ of me is 20 lbs lighter. By doing so the mind begins to ‘adapt’ and ‘believe’ in your change and seeks to move you from where you are to where your mind’s eye sees you.”
This wasn’t just any client. He was a very successful self-made multi-multi millionaire who had created a very successful Financial Planning Service and appears on Fox News every Tuesday. He even went public on the news with his challenge! He assembled his team of experts, and I was his Nutrition Coach and Meditation Consultant. He and I agreed that regardless of the goal, whether it is to make a million dollars before your 40th birthday, which he had achieved plus some, or to lose 100 pounds, the success strategies are the same. What makes the difference is applying those success strategies to the right techniques (meaning having the correct information to implement your plan). Not only did I coach Stewart in his original goals, I went on to coach his entire staff in his business, and finally helped him with his book, Think Like A Self Made Millionaire.
Other great examples of using Visualization include two of the greatest golfers of all time, Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods—both of who have stated that they ‘Visualize’ every shot before they actually swing on the ball—even their practice shots! Deepak Chopra goes into this process in depth in his book, Golf for Enlightenment: The Seven Lessons for the Game of Life. I would highly recommend that book even if you are not a golfer.
Then there’s the research that included 3 groups of basketball players. The first group did not practice their free throws and saw no improvement; the second group practiced 2 hours per day and saw a marked improvement in their free throw percentages; the 3rd group ‘visualized’ shooting successful free throws for 2-hours per day but they didn’t actually practice. The result? The group using visualization saw their free throw percentage nearly match that of group #2!
Visualization can make a huge difference in both achieving and accelerating your intended results, whether your intention is to achieve greater health and fitness or to become financially free or to greatly improve your relationships. When you use the visualization process it actually begins to change your brain and you start creating new neurological pathways. My physician friend, Dr. Rick Brown, tells me there is a medical term for this, “Brain Plasticity”.
Start now. Visualize exactly what you look like after having participated in our program. Don’t be afraid to ‘see’ an astounding NEW YOU! Use the following form to create your vision of what having a fit and healthy body means to you. Use the Master Your Mindset Worksheet to help you, or create your own in a personal journal.
Step #3: Act “As If”
When you change your decisions and goals in a way to put them in the present tense, “as if” it is already true then you will begin to behave “as if” you already are fit, healthy, and full of energy. Indeed you BECOME that person and begin to do and behave “as if” it were already true. And when you change your actions, the results follow.
Act as if you have already achieved your goals. You will look and feel better and improve your results. If you tend to “hide” in baggy clothes—I call them my goddess clothes—then stop! Dress yourself in your nicest clothes that make you feel the best every day. Get out and be active. Don’t postpone any other activity “until you lose weight”. Start living your life fully TODAY. And if you act as if you are already fit and healthy, eating and exercising as fit and healthy people do, then you will become fit and healthy!
Remember to state these things in the present and in the positive. Instead of saying “I want to lose weight”, say to yourself, “I want a lean and fit body.” Or “I have achieved my optimal body composition and I look and feel my best.” If you focus on “losing weight” then you are still calling that weight into your reality. Instead, focus on calling optimal health and wellbeing; “being fit and healthy” into your reality. And if you state things as “I want” than the universe continues to keep you in the “wanting” state. If you state that you ARE a fit and healthy person and that you have optimal body weight so you can live your life to the fullest everyday, you will quickly find yourself “acting as if” you are fit and healthy and have optimal body composition and weight. You will find yourself making choices “as if” it were already true and very soon you will be moving in the direction of your intended outcome!
I want you to take a few moments to start getting even more clarity about what you want to achieve. State what you want not only in the positive but make it measurable. How many pounds do you want to weigh? What Body Fat Percentage do you want to achieve? What size clothing do you want to be able to wear?
This is what I have decided I want to achieve in the area of my health: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fueling Your Decision with Power!
Great job so far—now let’s give your decision some power! Now you have taken the step to “Decide What You Want” to achieve. Remember a secret of those who achieve great goals is they keep choosing the same thing over and over until they bring it into their reality. This means every small decision they make along the way will continue to support what they have chosen. You must keep choosing the same thing, over and over until it has become your reality. In order to do this we must give your decision power and passion! You need a big enough why to keep you focused and on track. In this exercise we will fuel your decision with power by using the Universal Law of Intention and Desire.
Remember, what we think we create and what we think we become!
OK, now you are ready. I want you to write down all the reasons why you want what you have promised yourself. Why is it important to you that you achieve your goal? How will your life be different? How will it feel to do, be and have what you have decided you want? What is your why?
Now you have made your decision and a promise about what you want to achieve. You have fueled it with energy and passion by giving it a big enough WHY! You now realize that every decision you make along the way will bring you either one step closer or further away from what you have decided to create. And remember, the Secret of the Masters is they keep choosing the same thing, over and over, until they have made what they want manifest in their reality.
Your Thoughts & Beliefs Create Your Reality
Our bodies and the state of our health and fitness is a reflection of our experiences over the last few years. Our bodies are not solid and fixed, but are an ever flowing river of energy and information which are in dynamic exchange with our environment. Our bodies are made to spontaneously rejuvenate, heal and support us. Most of the diseases we associate with aging are actually caused by our lifestyle choices and stress. We can choose to support our bodies and have optimal health and well-being as we age.
Remember, what you think, you create! “I am strong and healthy and I always make the best choice to nurture my mind, body and spirit.”
Make a Commitment to Yourself!
Now it is time for you to make your decision and a commitment to yourself to make yourself a priority for a fixed amount of time. You should now be clear now about what you want to achieve in the area of Health and Fitness. When you write down your goals in the form of a commitment you are more likely to achieve them. A commitment is a promise to yourself and it is much more powerful than a goal. Use the following Commitment Form to get clear on what you want and why you want it, and the action steps you are committed to taking in order to achieve what you want. This form can actually be used to make a commitment in any area of your life, so feel free to use it to make a commitment in the area of Wealth, Career, Relationships, or any other area where you would like to achieve a new level of success.
Thoughts are things, and they are powerful things. Thoughts are subtle vibrations and they have energy. When you share your promise with someone else, you are putting your promise into Words which are powerful creating vibrations!
Ask For What You Need
An essential part of success in any aspect of life is to be willing to ask for support! I’ve discovered that sometimes this is difficult, and occasionally I fall into that category myself. I believe in personal accountability and I admit, I like being in control. Sometimes those ideas and qualities do not go hand in hand with asking for and receiving support. I have learned though that it is equally important to be not only a good giver, but also a good receiver.
Ask the people in your life to support you both at home and at work. Let them know some specific things that would be helpful to you that they can do, such as support you and your schedule for your daily workouts; not bringing tempting, unhealthy foods into the office or home. You may even ask a friend or colleague, to be your accountability partner or join you on your new plan.
One thing I’ve learned in life is that “How you do anything is how you do everything.” So if you are hesitant to ask for support for your Health & Fitness, where else in life might you be hesitant to ask for and receive support from those around you? So let me ask you, where are you getting support for your goals and are you asking for what you need? Have you asked the people around you to support you in your health and fitness goals?
Get Clear about what Optimal Health & Fitness means to you
This has to do with visualization. Think about it, write it down; visualize it every day. What will your life be like when you reach your goal? How will you look? How will you feel? How will other people react to your differently. What activities will you participate in that you do not right now? This exercise will help you bring your vision into reality.
Download the Master Your Mindset Worksheet
Affirmation: “Knowing I have the power to change, I can create what I want in any area of my life. My thoughts create my reality, and if I can dream it then I can achieve it”.
For My Friends Who Have Wondered …
I’m here! LOL! Last July I got a phone call from my mother that changed the trajectory of my life, at least for a while. Her health was failing and she asked me to move to Virginia to help care for her. When I asked how long I should plan on staying, her reply was, “Indefinitely, and I need you to get here as fast as you can.” So I packed up my Denver home and drove across the country within the week, thinking I would get a little place of my own near her home. I told myself that I could trade my long a beautiful Colorado hikes for SUP—Stand Up Paddleboarding—which would be a “new thing” for me and would be both fun and keep me in shape. As soon as I arrived I saw that those plans would be on hold for a while. The next 8 months were devoted completely to caring for my mother and doing an over-haul on the interior of her home, where she had smoked for 18 years. After doing some research I realized just how toxic the house was, even with her no longer smoking in it! Change was necessary in order to improve the health of the home and to adapt it to my mother’s new needs, which changed week to week from the time that I arrived until her passing.
I plan on posting about my experience of being a caregiver (my experience & challenges are certainly not unique—and I was on a steep learning curve with on-the-job training)—the physical, emotional & spiritual effects are real and very well documented. By the time my mother passed away I had used all of my reserves and realized I needed to just STOP, be patient with myself for a while. So I have! More on THAT later – but the ground is ripe for a 90 Day Self-Care challenge to get back to my best physically – while my mother became bed bound, I became house-bound with her and she would tolerate NO NOISE in the house outside of her own TV – so no exercise, little sleep, lots of stress = weight gain! UGH!
COMPUTER CHALLENGES – RESOLVED – AND LESSONS LEARNED! I spilled wine on my laptop early on when I arrived in Virginia (Last August) —fortunately I didn’t ruin the hard drive, and only had to replace the keyboard—I unplugged it, removed the battery & I gave it SEVERAL days to dry out before I even attempted to boot it up again. I prayed while I let it dry out that when I booted it up it would still work. It did, but it took a very long time, and the keyboard didn’t work at all. I FRANTICALLY moved all my files to Dropbox in a disorganized MESS to make sure they were saved if my computer wouldn’t boot up again! (Because it’s memory was almost full, and it was taking FOREVER to boot up, anyway). So I’m doing all this while praying, “God Thank you for not letting me lose my files, and PLEASE let me stop learning things the hard way!” (I should have had a back up strategy for my computer files all along, right?) So for a while I used an auxiliary keyboard until the laptop one started shorting out and taking over … making the computer useless. I’m WAY out – so Best Buy is an hour away- when I took it in and the GEEK told me if I brought in a new keyboard they would put it in for me. ARGH! IMHO half the battle was making certain I ordered the RIGHT keyboard … so after the SECOND attempt, I got the right one for my computer, and I installed it myself (with the help of a YouTube Tutorial). By the way, the Geek that helped me set up the NEW laptop laughed at me when I told him my wine story and laughed and said, “Spilling wine on your computer is something that we see a lot! – it is one of the most common things that happen to folks laptops!” LOL – really!?
GETTING BACK TO WORK: I had been so focused on taking care of “OPS”—other peoples stuff — that I had neglected my OWN stuff. I finally have a space for an office with my computers, my files and everything all in one place so I can sort through them. So when I got back to work last week, my office, my paper files, my computer & online files were ALL in a state of disorganized chaos … It’s taken a week, but I’ve finally got a handle on it. This is what my office looked like last weekend as I was trying to piece together old notes, brainstorming ides, and files. It looked kind of like a bomb went off in here! Actually, the photo does not do justice to the huge mess that was in there! I can’t work like that – so I got busy and sorted things out!
So fast forward: I purchased a new laptop recently, and I was really ready for an update … but my files have been “out there” in the cloud somewhere in disorganized chaos. When I sat down last week to get started, I had to retrieve passwords for EVERYTHING! I couldn’t even remember how to get into my Hosting Account! LOL – Oh My – It took an ENTIRE DAY just to re-organize my LassPass Vault and figure out how to sign into my own websites, email accounts, hosting, Aweber … etc. (EYE ROLL! HOW, did I let MY OWN STUFF get this disorganized??? I mean I’ve been organizing OTHER PEOPLE’s STUFF for years, and generally I’m so good at it, but apparently MY HEAD HAD BEEN STUCK IN THE SAND FOR A WHILE when it came to MY OWN STUFF!) Anyway, after spending an entire day on Lass Pass (while putting up a couple of new blog posts 😉 ) I moved on to paper files, files stored in the cloud from the old computer, etc. It’s better now!
MY S-L-O-W INTERNET CONNECTION … Did I mention that I’m “way out” in the country on a tip of a peninsula here in Coastal Virginia? In ways that is such a blessing! But it is an hour from Target, Best Buy, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, etc., etc. (So truly AMAZON PRIME has become my best friend – which I see is GREAT for affiliate marketing!) … and being “way out” Internet connections are not really the best or the fastest. I was SO EXCITED when Verizon came out with their “UNLIMITED DATA” package … and I got off the old, very slow, had to re-connect every 48 hours DSL. I got a Hotspot that worked like a champ the first month … but then something changed. I get 10 MB on the 4G network, and then they downgrade the hotspot to 3G (and sometiimes slower) for the remainder of my billing cycle.makes This makes streaming video impossible, loading websites is often V-E-R-Y Slow and I often have to load a page more than once before it loads correctly. “Go to Starbucks and use their wi-fi!” said my son. The nearest Starbucks is 17 miles away. I HAVE started taking my “devices” to the library for updates, downloads and sometimes that really helps, and other times their network is a little slow, too. This is just something I have to deal with … but it hasn’t helped with productivity.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting some technical issues worked out now that I’ve gotten my office, my passwords and my files reasonably organized! Then I’ll be able to focus on content here!
All my best to you all! See you again soon!!